Just thought I would introduce myself

[Lochar]

Help, I keep getting this error message!

What message?

USER ERROR: Replace user and press any key to continue.

[J-Man5]

Isn't it sad when the programs are smarter than the users?

J-Man5

[Fiferguy]

I once got the infamous and sometimes mythical cup holder call:

"Hello, IT. Can I help you?"
"Yes, my cup holder is broken, how do I fix it?"

I hate PEBKACs...

[Lochar]

I had a user put one of those mini-cds into their floppy drive.

Their defense? "What? It fit."

[Spec8472]

I've always said you can't talk about a group unless you are one, and I are one. 100% of all SysAdmins ARE crazy...

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Hey wait a second. I'm in IT and I'm not crazy.

...

Okay, stop laughing. I'm being Sirius.

You're certifiably crazy.

Isn't it sad when the programs are smarter than the users?

Oh, thats not hard - SELECT * FROM USERS WHERE CLUE > 0;

What, no rows returned?!

I had a user put one of those mini-cds into their floppy drive.

Their defense? "What? It fit."

And a full-size CD will fit into a 5.25" floppy drive too - which I've seen happen.

A friend was doing work experience in a local computer shop many years ago - someone came in and bought a "plug and play" internal modem (PCI I think) - back when 56K was pretty damn new, and ADSL was still a myth.

They got a call, with this customer going off his nut because he'd lost all this important data. Turns out he'd taken "Plug and Play" quite literally - trying to do a hot-insert of a PCI card into a Windows 95 machine had... interesting results.

[Metatrone]

I once got the infamous and sometimes mythical cup holder call:

"Hello, IT. Can I help you?"
"Yes, my cup holder is broken, how do I fix it?"

Actually, I can see that. After spending several days in Photoshop or Illustrator I'm always dizzy for a while. My greatest problem is that I can't find Ctrl+Z when I am outside...

[J-Man5]

Personal favorite was a neighbor who is older who oiled his CD ROM drive. Reason: It was making noise. It was when the oil dripped down on the drive and then the CPU that things got interesting. When you say a system is smoking you don't usually mean it literally. It's a wonder he didn't have the house burn down. All because of someone thinking things didn't work the way they wanted them too.

Or how about the user with the fugliest GUI interface settings. It's like they try and make things worse than even Microsoft could think of. Like who really wants Purple, Fuschia, and Neon Green?

Evil Things I do sometimes is to set their network disk quotas to 1MB. Or have their passwords stay in history for over 300 changes and then have the passwords set to expire everyday. Or set their background and foreground colors to the same setting. Or push out a desktop background of PeeWee Herman with his laugh as a new mail notification.

L-Users gotta love them though. One bought me a Got Root? t-shirt for SysAdmin day. Another gave me a cool knife that has a handle made from used motherboards.

Plus they are what keeps us busy enough to justify people hiring us.

J-Man5

[Fiferguy]

Job security to the fullest...

Now, how about stupid tech things? Like the time we used peanut butter as thermal paste...that was some very pretty blue smoke...

[Lochar]

Job security to the fullest...

Now, how about stupid tech things? Like the time we used peanut butter as thermal paste...that was some very pretty blue smoke...

I take the Fifth.

[J-Man5]

How about using a bad CPU in a motherboard without a cooling fan as a coffee cup warmer?

Not stupid but very funny.

J-Man5

[J-Man5]

This was funny Weird Al

All About the Pentiums

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEi0eQB-NtY

[Spec8472]

Job security to the fullest...

Now, how about stupid tech things? Like the time we used peanut butter as thermal paste...that was some very pretty blue smoke...

Tech "screwups" I've done:

#1 -
First PC I got was a pre-built Acer 486 DX4/100. I decided to build my second PC, so bought a new case, motherboard etc - the works.
Bolted the motherboard straight onto the metal case - and wondered why the heck it wouldn't POST. (I was also wondering why the PCI slots were a tad low... )

Took it over to a friends place, and his dad took one look and spent the next 15mins laughing his ass off. In my defence: I studied the construction of the 486 very well - how the mobo was fitted to the case - everything. Except, it had a plastic case, so there were no need for stand-offs :/

No harm done though - the PSU and Mobo (Gigabyte) were smart enough to not try fully powering up if there was a short.


#2 -
My most recent screwup was on my new PC - I bought all the parts online, and to save on delivery, I had them assemble it there (free, saves delivery... *shrug*)

They arranged the drives in a different way than what I wanted - so I tried unplugging the SATAII cable... except it was really stiff... I kept applying gentle but constant pressure to unplug the cable... and pulled the SATA connector off. Noone told me that they had retention clips on the new SATA cables!
After a few moments going "Ohshitohshitohshit" thinking I'd bollocksed a nice new motherboard (Abit AB9-Pro) - I managed to slide the connector back onto the board, and it clicked back into place.


#3 -
The only time I really lost a whole heap of data was when I had 2x 80GB drives (When they were pretty much the biggest things out there) in a RAID-Stripe. I needed to move the drives from one drive cage to the other (full tower case, had 3 drive cages) so I could fit something in.
I accidentally plugged the cables back in, in the wrong order. RAID Controller chucked a hissy fit, I recognised my mistake when there was garbage on the RAID BIOS Startup screen, powered down, switched the cables back -- Controller wouldn't recognise the array anymore. oh darn, all the data is gone. About 140GB worth.

#4-
This would have to be the funniest - I was putting a new heatsink on my Core2Duo - I checked the bottom for the typical blue plastic film that covers it... couldn't see it though (and I looked pretty closely, since it seemed pretty unusual NOT to have it)... so I used the cleaning solutions and purifying solutions to clean the contact area -- then carefully applied some Arctic Silver thermal paste - carefully spread it around, rubbed it in, etc. I'm just getting ready to attach the heatsink -- hrm, whats this plastic sticker doing on the side of the Heatsink... oh, damn... there goes some precious Arctic Silver.

Atleast I didn't do same thing that someone else did and just plonked down the HSF with the plastic on there (no thermal paste). The Magic Smoke escaped from their brand new 1Ghz AMD Thunderbird CPU.

[Journeywoman]

I've always said you can't talk about a group unless you are one, and I are one. 100% of all SysAdmins ARE crazy...

I may not be a SysAdmin but I work in IT and my boss is definately one and is definately crazy. I think something between the always wearing camo gear, the stack of nurf guns he keeps in his office and his general crazy behaviour tipped me off. So I completely agree with you on the SysAdmins being crazy part.

I work on an IT helpdesk and although I've never had an inquiry bad enough to warrant the first reply, I feel it is an appropriate place to quote the IT Crowd:
1) "Are you sure it's plugged in?"
2) "Have you tried turning it off and turning it on again?"
Ahh, the simple things you too can do to get your computer to work !

[Spec8472]

I work on an IT helpdesk

... Oh, I'm so sorry. You don't happen to work for an ISP, by any chance?

I feel it is an appropriate place to quote the IT Crowd

<a href="http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/t ... crowd/">IT Crowd</a> is funny, but never quite as funny as the <a href="http://members.iinet.com.au/~bofh/index.html">old(er) BOFH stuff</a>. The <a href="http://www.theregister.co.uk/odds/bofh/">newer ones</a> are good, but not quite as hilarious.

Then again, probably not good for helldesk staff to read BOFH, they might get ideas

[Lochar]

Heh. Already read those Spec, but thanks for the link. I'd lost it.

Then again, probably not good for helldesk staff to read BOFH, they might get ideas

And as part helldesk/part IT staff, may I say? "HEY!"